@ThisOneSayz: Easter egg hunts are fun but, some kids always get their eggs stolen by others. Also, I'm not allowed on the field this year.
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@juneohara65: "Go ahead, caller. . ." "Yes, hello. My dog dug up a femur and I'd like to make soup. Would you suggest carrots or potatoes?"
@geekysteven: Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.
@ShitJokes: On a ladder putting a cinema poster up. Lady said "Is King Kong Coming?" I said "No it’s just the paste off my brush"