@JB4Realz: "Easy Come, Easy Go" - My clinic name if I ever become a urologist.
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@mstluvstrinkets: I remember, before kids, saying funny things like, "my kids won't be watching TV and they most certainly won't be eating chicken nuggets!"
@nayele18: Meant to tell my daughter "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Tuesday because this is bullshit"
@weedguy420boner: why do we park in the driveway but fetishize an impossible and ridiculous masculinity on the hemingway