@velvettusk: "Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too.
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@Elizasoul80: [slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!
@drinksmcgee: My kids are in Karate class and I'm just sitting here thinking that I could kick the shit out of half these 6 year olds.
@_troyjohnson: Historic moments in rap. Jay W [username taken] Jay X [username taken] Jay Y [username taken] Jay Z
@CornOnTheGoblin: ? Hey there Delilah, can we handle this discreetly My stomach reacted badly after eating old zucchini ? and I just pooooed ?