@SRbeta: Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables.
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@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: STAYCATION DAY 1: Filled the birdbath with Nescafé just to see the startled look on those vagrant House Finches.
@AaronFullerton: Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.