@kimt205: Eaten so many blue cheese stuffed olives today that it feels like France and Greece are waging a war for land in my intestines.
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@YoungNobler: Sticking a $5 bill into a vending machine turns it into my grandmother, dispensing stale snacks and rare dollar coins.
@just1fool: The last beer didn't tell me why life is so confusing but it told me the next one would.
@wankcity: "more like president PAJAMA" *obama jumps into pj's, congress full of 12 year olds is pleased*