@TheIronSherk: Eating a block of cheese is probably the most delicious way to figure out it's time to get some groceries.
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@CheryeDavis: I'm glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
@daemonic3: Kangaroo 911: What's your emergency? Kangaroo: I CAN'T FIND MY CHILDREN Kangaroo 911: Did you check your pockets? Kangaroo: Oh nevermind
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: this year, can you put the santa presents out for the kids christmas morning? GUY WHO NEVER FOUND OUT SANTA CLAUS ISN'T REAL: what
@squirrel74wkgn: I was waiting for my wife to try on clothes & spoke to this woman for almost 20 minutes until I looked up & noticed her head was missing.