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@bgirl314: Eating a box of Thin Mints doesn't make you thin.
@batkaren: They're a pack of lions
He's some guy who hates lions
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
This fall on CBS
@Sickayduh: I bet the guy who invented fake dog shit was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
@ozzyunc: Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs.
@BrettDruck: Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd.
@daemonic3: Alex: A ship that has sunk
What is my relationship?
Alex: No sorry tha-
[glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex