@SaddestTiger: eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as i thought.
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@kelkulus: The American flags on the moon have been bleached white from 44 years of solar radiation. If aliens ever attack, we've already surrendered.
@EyeSeeYou619: ME: Since Tatooine has 2 suns shouldn't Luke Skywalker cast 2 shadows? GEORGE LUCAS:*pressing intercom* Security, she's in the house again.
@iwearaonesie: wife [whispers] Josh me wife *nudges me* Josh me: Huh? What? wife: You were explaining the plot to Space Jam in your sleep again