@SaddestTiger: eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as i thought.
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@krustythe_klown: [12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!
@Mr_Kapowski: All my punishment tactics against my 8 year old were in vain until I threatened to transfer her most valued Pokémon to the Professor
@MrFjayy: Me: your shoes are on the wrong feet 4yo: Me: ....... 4yo:......... Me : 4yo : but I don't have any other feet Me : fair enough --__--
@ericsshadow: 1985: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me