@erikbransteen: "Speak softly and carry a big stick." -- Teddy Roosevelt "Yell loudly and talk about the size of your stick." -- Donald Trump

@rogueMUGA: What idiot called him Alexander graham bell instead of lord of the rings

@slennonhugs: I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull

@TheBoydP: I can’t tell the difference between large, extra large and jumbo eggs. There, I said it.

@bazecraze: Mom is coming to town. I get three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters.