@trumpetcake: Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a good way to get a whole row to yourself at the cinema.
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@brian_bilston: There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi
@GianDoh: Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.
@SondraDeeMe: If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing.
@robfee: Slash: Ok whats Paradise City like? Izzy: Pretty girls? "Yeah!" Axl: Nice lawns! "Huh?" Axl: Green grass! "Grass is alw-" Axl: JUST WRITE IT