@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@StephenAtHome: Trump called Kim Jong Un a "smart cookie." That's crazy -- he reminds me more of a "murderous soft cheese."
@TheTalkingPipe: This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep.
@aldenskii: *in an interview* Me: Tell me a time when you really struggled in your previous job. Applicant: 5-7PM po. Me: Applicant: 8PM. Me: