@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man
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@TheBigBatman: Last year for Christmas I got a sweater, this year I am hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
@bourgeoisalien: I can't stop coughing. Think I'll go see a movie in a crowded theater while slowly eating a bag of bone-dry popcorn.
@capnmcfword: He always wanted a woman that would devour him whole like a gas station roasted chicken. She always wanted a gas station roasted chicken.
@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.