@AaKesseli: Eating just one animal cracker is impossible. The entire herd must go.
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@taramae72: *Mouth full of pizza* Boss: I thought you were trying to lose weight? Me: Waaa? Iths diet peetha.
@Harbinger_one: Just ran 45 minutes on the treadmill and burned 732 calories. Or as many people like to call it, 4 olives.
@causticbob: I recently got a tattoo with Chinese symbols that reads, "I don't know. I don't speak Chinese." Then when people ask me what it means...