@ArielBen6: Ebola has been in the US for 1 day and people are already wearing masks. AIDS has been here for 55 years and fools still don't use a condom
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@GashleyMadison: "For a really awkward time, call me." -me, leaving my number on bathroom stalls.
@bridger_w: The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
@Brampersandon_: [quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*