@Thynebear: [edits wikipedia so the facts i made up for my school paper work]
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@shkeeber: 1. Find homeless man. 2. Bathe him. 3. Wash & patch up his clothes. 4. Give him a record player. 5. Congratulations, you own a hipster.
@murrman5: [me out of breath] yeah I might be shooting a rap video so what? [wife home 20 mins early] is that why the dog is painted like a cheetah?
@online_rat: my landlord charged a pet fee for the ants in my kitchen. i need $48,000,000 by friday or im evicted. how did he count them they are so fast