@NeinQuarterly: Eggs. Dyed for our sins.
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@WritePlay: god: now to create a universe for man, my most beloved creation lucifer: what if u make like 99.999% of it kill them instantly god: lol ok
@TheCiscoKidder: When I see a parked car with the stick figure family on it, I move the husband over and put my studly stick figure next to the wife.
@T_N_Crumpets: Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths "not guilty"] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up
@Pirate_nurse: In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym