@Writepop: "Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome." - Pew Pew Pew Research Center
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@RuinMyWeek: [God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say "when" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*
@KKBowls: My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I'm already up to 3 times a day"
@WigCannon: before x-rays doctors had to climb inside people and draw a picture of their bones. some still do
@McMcmadmac: When my wife got her tongue pierced I asked her why? She said To enhanthe the thektual thimulation.