@Brianhopecomedy: Either my 1 year old found the stash of markers or she head-butted a rainbow.
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@BoutCrazed: Hey Febreze, I don't go around with garbage in my car, but if nobody could tell I just smoked a joint in there, I might buy some.
@MatCro: [doctor's] INVISIBLE MAN: Am I cured doc? DR: Your tests are all clear IM: Is that good? DR: [talking to wrong empty chair] I'm not sure
@Starchily90: Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Cause otherwise they make you watch it on their phone