@maughammom: Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember.
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@JohnLyonTweets: Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important.
@FrogAvalanche: *National Spelling Bee Final - Spell cyclops. - Use in a sentence. - Cyclops have one eye. *winks at audience - C-E-Y-E-C-L-O-P-S.
@TheMichaelRock: I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery.