@maughammom: Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember.
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@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
@MrC2daG: Fact: Whiskey works for some illnesses because you get the illness drunk and it stumbles out of your body.
@dyldonot: [consoling grieving widow] so I guess you'll be looking for a new owner for his pokémon collection?
@KeetPotato: [my 1st day as spelling bee host] your word is policy "can you use it in a sentence" um i think hes an undercover cop, he looks a bit policy