@maughammom: Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember.
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@living_marble: Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans.
@FunnyTunes: Shopkeeper:This is made of pure virgin wool sir. Me:You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me,will it keep me warm?
@PHDaniel_Street: Tomorrow...trade cell phones with your significant other for the day...see how many of you are single by the end of the day...
@realHamOnWry: Me: Hey, just got back from a 3 hour walk. Her: But it's 20 below zero outside. Me: I had mitts. Her: Are you crazy? Me: No...Canadian.