@Papa_Mex: Either the dude in the bathroom was having a surprise birth, or he needs to eat a LOT less hay in his diet....
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@qwertying: Husband: Why are there broken condoms on our couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names.
@AmericanGent69: Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes.
@shondarhimes: Calling Sony comments"racially insensitive remarks" instead of "racist"? U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don't make it a sundae.