@philsturgeon: Elevator is broken. Had to use the other one. #firstworldproblems
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at dinner] Wife: This is terrible. Me: Horrible. Waiter: Hey folks, how's your food? (simultaneously) Wife: Amazing! Me: Fantastic!
@Connan22: I will force my way into an inside joke and kill the fun before I let two people laugh about something I don't get.
@GrantTanaka: Look, if you need a heimlich, just ask me nicely, enough of this flapping your arms and making faces shit.