@philsturgeon: Elevator is broken. Had to use the other one. #firstworldproblems
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@TheMichaelRock: *wife notices the books all over the floor* FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE'S NO SECRET PASSAGE!
@MomOnFire: H: Something's wrong with you. M: Yes. H: No, like for real. M: Yes, I told you that from day one. H: But you were kidding... M: Haha, no.
@UncleDuke1969: Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night.