@philsturgeon: Elevator is broken. Had to use the other one. #firstworldproblems
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LoveMeNowDad: A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls
@FriskyOnWhiskey: If anyone's seen me at my best, and seen me at my worse, and still accepts me for who I am, it's definitely the liquor store.
@LionJenkins: I imagine colonoscopies are accompanied by the theme music from the underground level of Super Mario Bros.
@protolalia: Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and