@briangaar: ELMO WANT BIG HUG!!! ELMO WANT KIDS TO KNOW THAT JET FUEL COULDN'T POSSIBLY MELT STRUCTURAL STEEL
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@perlapell: You know you've just had lunch with a narcissist when your neck is stiff from nodding.
@T_N_Crumpets: Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure
@Humor_Fetish: There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE.