@Mr_Kapowski: Elon Musk’s full name is actually Elongated Muskrat
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@myonlymizztake: I wish Adele would hurry up and put out another album so I could end this relationship.
@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@Donna_McCoy: My husband keeps watching a tv show while complaining about how boring it is, & now I understand how he's stayed married to me for so long.
@pevbim: I've never held a baby before "It'll be fine" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*