@AnkCoupleTO: Embrace her crazy and she'll love you forever or until she kills you, whichever comes first
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@Jacob_Swift16: I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times
@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Me: (swish, swish, swish) Wife: Me: (swish, swish, swish) Wife: Me: (swish, swish, swish) Wife: I hate your corduroys
@Sarcasticsapien: Dating in your thirties is fun because you get to tell strangers intimate parts of your past to help them decide that you're staying single.
@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear