@K_Chapacabra: Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
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@caraweinberger: It's crazy how my ex was so upset about losing me that he had to build a life with a new woman.
@theyearofelan: Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
@buckweiser13: I've been driving with a coca cola can stuck in snow on the roof of my car for a week cuz 7 thinks it makes us cops. Stare all you want.