@K_Chapacabra: Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
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@david8hughes: Then god said, "Let there be light," and there was light and he regretted making Adam in the dark because he gave him Owen Wilson's nose.
@primawesome: I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
@ladyignoble: Note to younger women: Remember, men are always after just one thing: your snacks. Do not leave the refrigerator unlocked.
@Supafunkadunka: My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious.