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@nPhelendriqal: :# <--- emoticon for "I'm eating a brillo pad"
@thatdutchperson: Me: yeah, I'm not going to make it in today.
Boss:of course, this snow is crazy.
@trevso_electric: It's Election Eve, Not Election and Steve!
@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..
@ElleOhHell: Stephen is a much nicer name than "hen from a previous marriage."
@StinkyGr33n: My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. "That time of the month?" I replied.
He's not amused.