@tylerschmall: Employees must applaud the planets.
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@dafloydsta: [therapy] "Where does your fear of spiders come from?" *flashback to Spider-Man trying to kiss me behind Applebees* They're just creepy okay
@Phoebetate: I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag.
@TheCiscoKidder: I caught my son wiping his boogers on the couch which is gross because I don't want our boogers mixing.
@alan_maguire: I'm watching two crows fight over a toothbrush. Crows don't even have teeth, it's just capitalism making them want things they don't need