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@tylerschmall: Employees must applaud the planets.
@PressOneForNo: I really hope my 2 year old daughter is this difficult to get into bed when she's 18
@Thedudish: I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them.
@DesiJedeikin: I will never stop laughing at this
@LeBearGirdle: Reporter: What went wrong in the Challenger launch?
NASA: have you ever built a space ship?
Reporter: well no bu-
NASA: it's really hard
@leshnevsky: Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty?
Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!