@tylerschmall: Employees must applaud the planets.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@markleggett: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. These are the five stages of learning that Ben Affleck is the new Batman.
@Brianhopecomedy: *bakes 12 cookies* *waits for family to come home* *eats 12* *family arrives* 5 year old: "I SMELL COOKIES!" "Weird! Here's a salad."
@AnAverageGiant: Today I had a mild panic attack over the fact I will die someday. Then I bought some shit on Amazon. Your mom is a hermaphrodite.
@therealeatwood: [Poison Ivy’s home] Voice from outside: YOU CONTROL PLANTS? WHAT KIND OF POWER IS THAT? Ivy: [thru window] Go home, Aquaman. You’re drunk.