@Kimpulses: Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
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@ghostovpiss: what if spiderman shot spaghetti out of his wrists instead of webbing and worked at the olive garden
@rambo_dogg: If Romeo & Juliet didn't die and were allowed to marry, they'd have kids, get fat, and eventually hate each other. So it was a happy ending
@Kyle_Lippert: Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up.