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@Kimpulses: Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
@itsa_talia: why would old man skeletor wait until the 3rd period of the final game to introduce new uniforms to the team you're a stupid old man
@MaritalFauxPas: What if sun screen is really just a seasoning rub created by aliens.
@TheMichaelRock: What's up with these people in Pakistan getting stoned to death? What kind of weed are they growing there?
@senderblock23: I wish Fox News was just news about foxes.
@SemFitty: Body: I'm sooooooo tired
Brain: WHAT IF DINOSAURS HAD ASSAULT RIFLES