@THK1965: Enemas make shit happen. No seriously.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!
@yonewt: To print a document from your laptop: 1. Select document 2. Click "Print" 3. Walk over to printer to see what the damn problem is this time
@gorrdano: I understand if you aren't religious, I respect that. But you don't have to get all rude when I ask to use your first born as a sacrifice.