@THK1965: Enemas make shit happen. No seriously.
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@SCbchbum: Did you know if you send a fancy iPhone emoticon to a non-iPhone user, it just shows up as a middle finger?
@_NTFG_: When your mate says his name is Stephen with a 'ph' to the cashier and he gets his Starbucks cup back reading 'PHEVEN'. That.
@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
@Sean_Burgundy_: I'd probably have more friends if I didn't answer every call with "Why did you save my number?"