@MichaelGoffLA: "Engagement" can mean either planning to marry or initiating combat. Coincidence?
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@Underchilde: Bring spoiled food to work enough and your coworkers eventually stop eating anything with your name on it.
@SortaBad: When my wife is out of town my sleeping position changes from 'balancing on edge of bed' to 'snow angel'
@HorryPuttor: The Hogwarts teachers must have felt so stupid when their traps designed to keep Voldemort from the stone were beaten by three 11 year olds