@tylerschmall: England's gonna have a rude awakening when they go to war and all their knights are actors and musicians.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Spider-Man's a great addition to The Avengers, if they're looking for a superhero who is best at watching people they love die.
@SomeChrisTweets: When someone ends a sentence with "af" they were hastily trying to type "A FALCON DESCENDS UPON ME" but could not make it in time.
@InternetHippo: Internships are useful for a résumé. When you apply for a real job, they'll be like, "I see you worked for free a lot, are you an idiot?"
@Okeating: I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.