@notseriouslyamy: Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough.
@lazerdoov: "Be cool, it's the cops" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen
@emptyheadtwo: I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff
@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here