@robdelaney: Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids.
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@krustythe_klown: [12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!
@Contwixt: "Shrooms before brooms," I say to the coven of stereotypical witches who have quite magically appeared in my living room.
@Georg_Grey: If a man strikes thee on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown thyself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him.