@robdelaney: Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ojedge: [date] Me: 'Don't let her know ur a boxing ring announcer…' Her: "Shall we order dessert?" Me: "LET'S GET READY TO EAT APPLE CRUUUUMBLE!"
@SlappNuttz: How in the hell do people lose their children in a mall? Seriously, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
@Book_Krazy: [Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks] Me: so I guess the whole "we're going paperless" rules dont apply to you?