@KevinFarzad: ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama.
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@FeelingEuphoric: Dating tip: Before you think he's attractive—stop, breathe, and take a moment to think... is he attractive, or is he just a bowl of lasagna?
@Sean_Burgundy_: It's so frustrating when your hitman doesn't answer the phone after you've made amends with someone
@slooberbie: One of my wishes in life is to run across the Pacific Ocean in an air tight giant hamster ball.