@hippieswordfish: *erases 1 and writes 0 on the 'days without incident' chart at Earl's Discount Stilts and Ceiling Fans*
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@TheAlexNevil: "The rules are quite simple, Mr Bond: I think of a word, you guess letters in that word. If you guess wrong I draw a picture a man hanging."
@Reverend_Scott: [Russian class] Um, why did I fail this test? Teacher: You just wrote in English and added "ski" to the end of the words... I knowski.
@Brianhopecomedy: Took me 5 minutes to pick up the soap I dropped in the shower so I hope I never commit a felony.
@AbrasiveGhost: Scientist: a comet is headed for earth, we need a plan Me: howabout a big funnel S: why would that help M: u know, to like, guide it here