@hippieswordfish: *erases 1 and writes 0 on the 'days without incident' chart at Earl's Discount Stilts and Ceiling Fans*
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@TheOneTrueDisco: If I died and went directly to hell it would take me a month to realize I wasn't at work.
@amazymay72x: Weed doesn't give me an attitude when I forget to pay the electric bill... I love you, weed.
@SamGrittner: "WHAT DO WE WANT?!" "SELF-CONFIDENCE!" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*