@hippieswordfish: *erases 1 and writes 0 on the 'days without incident' chart at Earl's Discount Stilts and Ceiling Fans*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: Mom, I'm glad April Fools is on a wkend. Kids at school are jerks Me:*Hiding a plate of waffles drenched in olive oil* yeah people are mean
@CurlsOnGirls: Sing like no one is listening. Dance like you need to be shot with a tranquilizer dart.
@Angrea: I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs...But I totally trust a dog when it doesn't like a person.
@knot_eye: Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO