@azizpabani: ESPN just did a Top 5 Greatest Comebacks of All Time and there was some guy running with a ball but like literally no mention of Jesus
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@Playing_Dad: I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work
@HomeProbably: The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.
@Bill_Nye_Tho__: s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: The vasectomy was a success. But until it's healed completely, you'll need to wear this *places cone around patient's neck*