@Brampersandon_: Establish dominance. Never let a dog lick you first
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@SirEviscerate: GIRL: Spirit, should I have sex with this guy? ME: *tries to push the ouija pointer to yes but it won't move* (under breath) grandma, PLEASE
@daemonic3: Some people like instant gratification but I prefer mine brewed slowly from freshly ground gratification beans
@JennyJohnsonHi5: When I was a kid I was so afraid of being kidnapped until my mom assured me there was no way in Hell anyone would ever want to take me.
@Sarcasticsapien: I almost always wear black. Not because I'm depressed or trying to be all dark, but because I'm single and don't want to separate laundry.