@Manda_like_wine: Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting.
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@caseytduncan: The worst part about getting kidnapped would be when the news told everyone your real height and weight.
@DaveTheAlbino: There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head.
@anjeanettec: Kanye West said being a rapper is like being a soldier or a cop but hey at least he didn't compare himself to Jesus. Oh wait.
@dshack8: "I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself." Drunks and 1 year olds.