@PearlsFromMyrna: Evelyn says Betty's Daughter is a lesbian but I've never noticed an accent.
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@moose_chocolate: Autocorrect changed "you're so wise" to "you're so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.
@solikebasically: One time a cute guy I liked mooned his friend as a prank but there was a tiny piece of toilet paper in his crack & it haunts me to this day
@Jason_maybe: Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it.
@Lola_Areola: Lay with me until everything crumbles and nothing but creeping ivy shields us from the incessant chatter of wandering cadavers. Bring snacks