@SadPeruna: Even if you don't pay, they'll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
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@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no
@darrinfb: I want my ashes scattered when I die. I don't like people visiting me now.... I'll be damned if I want visitors when I'm dead.
@Barknado69: [Date] Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back
@CrazyUncIeJoe: I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."