@Zombie_Kitv2: Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert.
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@AGreaterMonster: I feel bad I punched that guy, but he shouldn't get so close to my punching bag. I should stop leaving my punching bag by my office door.
@karanbirtinna: Women on Twitter who boast about the crumbs they catch in their bras have no idea how much food I can carry around in my turban.