@Lipgloss_Nerd: Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train.
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@SondraDeeMe: FB post from HS friend on pic: My boyfriend is such a dreamboat! My comment: So was the Titanic.
@ThatBrenna: If you lose a tooth in a bar fight and put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will leave you $100 because you're hardcore.
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife: "What are you doing?" "Having an argument on Twitter" "With a man or woman?" "A lamp."