@CherBear162: Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like "WHY is this shit still here?"
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@iBrowniEd: Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape.
@TheToddWilliams: [Emergency Room] MRS. PIÑATA: Will my husband make it, doc? DOCTOR: We'll do what we can but *slurping on sucker* he's lost a lot of candy
@Matt_The_1st: "What's wrong with our country?" OBAMA! "Who are we going to reelect in 2012?" OBAMA!
@inpoliteco: If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool.