@rolldiggity: Even scarier than seeing a shark fin in the water is seeing a lion mane, because you know the chase isn't over once you reach land.
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@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@BuckyIsotope: *jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell
@P1ssed_K1d: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.