@CheryeDavis: Even the worst hangover wears off by 5:00. Coincidence? I think not.
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@JaneBadall: If I was an alcoholic, I'd stash all my booze in the laundry basket because apparently I'm the only person in my house who knows it exists.
@schmittsteve: "Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?" [ sigh ] "You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe." [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]
@Darlainky: Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email.