@Sarcasticsapien: Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey "poor choice of words" Stevens] Joey: "I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."
@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them