@Sarcasticsapien: Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still.
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@AndyAsAdjective: *stands in front yard, hands on hips, giving each autumn leaf that falls on my lawn a stern, disapproving look*
@Parker_Simpson: I imagine it's pretty humbling for someone who's literally taking part in their first rodeo
@KenJennings: LIFE HACK tell the hotel you forgot your toothbrush. They don't even check, they just give you a brand new one!!! It's so sweet
@ChaseMit: My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair.