@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
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@briangaar: Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight
@liv_thatsme: "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY 40 POUNDS OF SPINACH?" Me: I cooked it for you. It's over there, on that teaspoon.
@ruinedpicnic: "you look nice" - sweet potato "im so high" - baked potato "you suck!" - roast potato "what have I done" - guy who made talking potatoes