@Stuccoman1: The way my dog maintains eye contact while taking a dump is unsettling. Can't he read a magazine like a normal dog?

@TheBoydP: Show me someone who says they like all types of music and I will show you someone who has never been on hold before a conference call.

@drinksmcgee: Knuckle Tats (I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O) (M)(A)(N)(Y) (F)(I)(N)(G)(E)(R)(S)

@daemonic3: This cat poop tastes like I'm about to get yelled at. -- Dogs

@Hey_Sascha: Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.