@anildash: Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.
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@CerebralWreck: Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.
@Marcmywords2: "You think I'm smart, right?" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started.
@ShortWhiteNUgly: My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.