@CMFC99: Eventually you're going to achieve self awareness in a padded cell, staring at your palm, realizing twitter was just all your personalities
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@SteelFontana: I'm going as "Twitter Elite" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me.
@ch000ch: one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said "Watch me" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year
@DanMentos: Q. Why are ghostbusters afraid of bridges over small rivers? A. Because they're not supposed to cross the streams
@Brampersandon_: ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can’t be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a