@Jandalize: Ever accidentally turn off your alarm instead of hitting the snooze button and wake up two days later?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: ME: I have an announcement... I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER! FRIEND: Congratulations! When is the due date? ME: In a few years, as soon as I graduate from priest school.
@jonnysun: "a quiet place" sequel cALLED "A LOUD PLACE" WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO KEEP SHOUTING AND MAKING ALL SORTS OF RUCKUS TO AVOID CREATURES THAT HUNT SILENCE
@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass