@Jandalize: Ever accidentally turn off your alarm instead of hitting the snooze button and wake up two days later?
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@notbedelia: 911: what's your emergency? M: I'm out of ketchup. 911: miss I don't think u get how 911 works. M: I DONT THINK U GET HOW HOT DOGS WORK
@HorryPuttor: deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: It's "hairs" not the collective "hair" now. I have so few I know each individually by name.